I wasn’t sure, back before having kids, if I would have kids who played sports. While I like watching sports, and playing around in the back yard I wasn’t involved in any team sports. I did do karate and Scottish dancing as a kid. Hubby never really played any sports. When they boys were little, hubby really wanted then to get involved and play.
Anthony, who is now 17, was a little interested in being on a soccer team. While he wasn’t competitive, he did have the skill. He tried several times, on several different teams, he was just going through the motions and he wasn’t interested. Joey,16, on the hand, wanted to try everything. He tried a basketball skills class, soccer, t-ball, football, back to basketball, back to soccer. Then once he was in middle school, he found a love of running and really enjoyed cross country and track. He loved all of the sports, but for Joey, who is also not very aggressive and competitive, he had trouble not “doing things” He is an active and just wanted to play. We discovered that he is like me, and just loves playing the sport in the yard or at the park, and doesn’t really want to be on a team sport.
My girls on the other hand are excelling at their sports. Serenity is in her 4th year of cheer leading. She started off on a Pop Warner team. She has been cheering for them for 3 year, this being her 4th. But she also added in cheering for an all star Elite team this year. We spend 6 days a week on a cheer field. Willow, who is 5, just stated cheering this month, after doing 3 months of gymnastics. Both of the the girls are dedicated, willing to give up their free time and happy to practice even when they are playing.
What makes the difference between the older boys and the girls? It isn’t talent, my boys did well at the sports that they tried. It is their drive and dedication. Many parents think that their kids will do fantastic in a sport or won’t be able to do a sport because they have or don’t have natural talent, or they do not fit a certain mold. In Perception vs Reality in Youth Sport by J A Patterson, I found some of the best athletes were people who didn’t fit into a certain mold. For Example, David Beckham was told when he was only 12, that he was too small for soccer and that he would never be able to play for England. According to a former coach, Beckham compensated for his size by practicing and specializing in free kick accuracy and that became his primary strength.
There is a lot of discussing on what makes a great athlete vs a good athlete. There are thoughts that it is talent, consistency, physical, is mental, the drive, effort or attitude. I think it is a combination of it all. I also think it is how they get started.
As a mom who has been on the side lines, and who is now a coach for one of my daughter’s teams, I have felt what it is like on both sides, and I have seen the parents on both sides. A lot of parents are trying to push their kids and it comes off and screaming and being too hard. Some parents take a much easier approach and some are nearly silent on the field. While you don’t want to be the parent screaming at the kids to do better, run faster, or yelling about the ball that the kids missed, or screaming at the refs for a call, you do want to be supportive to your kids. Tell them that they did good. Tell them that is ok that they dropped the ball. Tell them that you are proud of them for being on a team. And don’t yell at the coach. Coaches are usually volunteers who are working extremely hard to help your child succeed. If you are unhappy about something, just approach them and talk to them.
As I was reading Perceptions vs Reality in Youth Sports, I have learned so much. I didn’t think that I would have many preconceived notions that were not based on my own experiences, but I would that I did. There is a passage in the book that talks about how your child’s experience in youth sports will eventually come to an end, and most likely quickly. Many parents end up thinking back and wish that they had enjoyed it more and not worried about the team’s record, whether she was playing as much as I wanted or why the coach didn’t put my child in the right position. For me, I might not stress over how well the girls do or where they are in the squads, but I know I get tired of all of the running. And that, sometimes, makes it hard for me to enjoy the games and competitions as much as I should. I plan to change the way I think about it all. I plan on enjoying it all a little more.
If you have kids, plan to have kids, or just love sports, Perception Vs Reality in Youth Sports is a must read. And right now, you have a chance to win a copy of your own.
Disclosure: I am part of the PTPA Brand Ambassador Program with Perception vs. Reality in Youth Sports and I received compensation as part of my affiliation with this group. The opinions on this blog are my own.
Michelle
I’m really glad you are blogging about this book. Sports are so good for kids and should be fun and not too stressful.
Lucky
I’m sure parents would love to learn how to better communicate, motivate and support their kids choosing to a play sport. Thanks for sharing!
Shaney Vijendranath
Great post, thanks for sharing. I’m definitely reading this book.
Myrabev
I have heard alot about parents who scream at the coaches etc and i think you’re right, we should all remember we human and should communicate not shout and also see what is best for your child by getting their input
Letty C.
I have a very good experience with my son’s coaches. However, when he started I didn’t have a clue how to approach them.
Yona Williams
What an insightful post…on a topic I never really stopped to think about. I know my parents thought I was an unlikely school athlete…I was clumsy, walked into walls (seriously), knocked into coffee tables, and tripped endlessly – I actually still do. What did I wind up excelling at? lol….hurdles. I wound up in track and field for three years, cross country running for one season, and played tennis during my senior year of high school.
kendall
Great post! I am nervous for when my kids get to the age of wanting to play sports – I’m so protective! LOL.
Lynndee
Our son is into soccer and modesty aside, he is doing really good at it. He’s the captain of their team actually. For us, the most important thing is, he is enjoying it and he loves the game. We don’t worry if they lose. That’s part of the game. But we do cheer to the top of our lungs whenever he scores. 🙂
Heather
This is a great post! My five year old is currently in Flag football and before that it was soccer, but they were both mom and dads ideas, not his. So from here on out, I will follow my son’s lead because I’m not sure sure he’s competitive in the sports arena. We’ll see though, he is only five. This sounds like a good book for parents.
michele d
Looks like a great book to have specially when your children are involved in sports. Great post!
Pauline Cabrera
Let kids be kids but teach them sports and they will be better adults.
Amby Felix
Very precious! My children are not into competitive sports, but we do play soccer, beach volley ball and tennis pretty regularly for exercise together as a family!
Touristmeetstraveler
All kids should give sports a try, it’s good for them to learn teamwork.
Rubbie Anne Abad
Im not into sports,really! Thanks for sharing
Delia @ Happy Blogger Plaza
I like the idea of encouraging kids to try a sport but not pushing it “just because” everyone else is playing it. I strongly believe we’re all different and so we should respect that, kids included. I never liked sports, but I’m very active 🙂 Walking, jogging, and yoga are my favourites.
Jon
I HATED sports as a child and my parents kept trying to sign me up for after school activities. Fact is, I’m all about exercising my brain, not my body!
JoAnna
Thanks for the book recommendation! I tried out so many sports when I was little and I always wanted to quit. I started taking art classes, which I preferred so much more!
Cheers!
JoAnna
foreverinparadise.net
Mama to 5 BLessings
Sounds like a great book. My boys are in sports, I think some parents take it too far after all these are just kids.
Aisha Kristine Chong
I wish my mom knew about this when I was younger – they are too overprotective to even encourage sports.
Misa
I am glad I read your post it’s inspiring and learn new things. I wish my parents pushed me more in sports when i was younger. Or I would’ve been more dedicated in sports and doing it the right way. It’s really important to know and be supportive parents that would support the kids wants and hobbies like you do to your kids 🙂
Alyssa C
Great post, I definitely need to look into this book!
HilLesha
My son isn’t really into sports yet (he’s 8). I never want to be one of those parents who push their children into sports if neither of my children plan on getting into sports. I also never want to be one of those parents who strive for their children to be perfect if they do get into sports. I have seen too much of both. 🙁
Tanya Coffman
It’s amazing how different personalities in children are. My oldest hated me for making him do team sports. After 2 years of him attempting to try – I finally gave in to the fact that he’s more into reading/literature then sports. My younger 2 on the other hand, are totally opposite. lol
Risa
I think that sports help kids learn teamwork and should also be fun for them, but I also think that the competitive part should not be taken away from sports. I’ve seen the trend where they don’t keep score and I think that’s ok when they are really little but if I am shelling out big bucks for my kid to play soccer or softball or something, there should be a winning team!
Nile
Sports teach teamwork and build character and discipline. It’s the time that I think children should try as many sports and activities, and then decide what they like the best. My son is trying to still discover what he likes, but because he is in a small town and a very small school, he doesn’t have access to some of the sports and activities that larger schools have.
Adelina Stoiconi
I will have to share this with my best friend! Thank you for this post!
Krystal's Kitsch
My son is two and already going crazy about basketball and soccer! I have a feeling he will want to play!
Jenise @ DIYFunIdeas.com
Sports are definitely a great way to teach kids to work as a team, as long as parents don’t get too obsessive about winning all the time.
Melanie
This looks like a great book! I will have to give it a read!
Chrissy Mazzocchi
My 15 year old loves Basketball so I’m hoping he’ll be on the highschool team soon!
Kath Rivera
Congratulations to the winner. My son loves playing basketball at home too but he’s more of a diecast car collector.