Are you looking for some funny jokes to tell your kids? We have the best collection of Christmas Jokes for Kids that will make them laugh! These are perfect for family gatherings, school parties or just a night in with the kids. I print mine out and use them for Lunch Box Notes. You can even use these as icebreakers at work if you need something fun to get everyone talking but I suggest you expect Dad Joke kind of groans. And don’t worry about telling these yourself – they’re so good, we guarantee your kids will be able to tell them all on their own!
The Funniest Christmas Jokes for Kids
Our jokes are great because they’re clean and age-appropriate. They won’t offend anyone and they shouldn’t go over the heads of young children either. But if they do, don’t worry, there are enough jokes for kids here that you can just go on to the next one. So whether it’s Christmas Eve or Christmas Day, you can feel confident knowing that our jokes are safe for everyone in the family to enjoy together or to tell in the classroom. And there’s no better way to start off this holiday season than by sharing laughs with those closest to us!
Want the printable version of these jokes? Grab this printable and use them for parties and get togethers, classroom parties, or lunch box notes.
Funny Christmas Jokes for the Whole Family
Q. How many presents can Santa fit in his sack for bad children?
A. Zero!
Q. What did the judge say to the angry advent calendar?
A. Your days are numbered!
Q.How do you help someone who has lost their Christmas spirit?
A. Nurse them back to elf.
Q. What kind of Christmas present just can’t be beat?
A. A broken drum.
Q. What did Santa Clause say to when he crashed his sleigh?
A. Well, now I’m really Scrooged.
Q. What do Santa’s elves drive?
A. Minivans.
Q. What do elves do after school?
A. Their gnome work.
Q. What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?
A. Sandy Claws.
Q. What is a Christmas tree’s favorite candy?
A. Orna-mints!
Q. What’s red, white and blue at Christmas time?
A. A sad candy cane!
Q. Why does everyone love Frosty the Snowman?
A. He’s cool.
Q. What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
A. “Can you smell carrots?”
Q. Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?
A. It needed to be trimmed.
Christmas Riddles For Kids
Q. What comes at the end of Christmas?
A. The letter “S”!
Q. What do you call an elf wearing earmuffs?
A. Anything you want—he can’t hear you!
Q. What kind of Christmas carol do you sing to fruit?
A. “We Wish You a Berry Christmas.”
Q. What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?
A. A pineapple!
Q. What do angry mice send to each other in December?
A. Cross mouse cards!
Q. Why don’t aliens celebrate Christmas?
A. Because they don’t want to give away their presence.
Q. What kind of ball doesn’t bounce?
A. A snow ball.
Q. What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
A. Snowflakes!
Q. What is the wettest kind of animal in Santa’s workshop?
A. Rain-deer
Q. What do you call Santa when he stops moving?
A. Santa Pause.
Q. What happened to the thief who stole a Christmas calendar?
A. He got 12 months.
Q. What body part do you only see at Christmas?
A. The mistle-toe.
Q. What do you call an obnoxious reindeer?
A. Rude-olph.
Q. Why was the little boy so cold on Christmas morning?
A. Because it was Decembrrrrrr!
Q. Why is Santa so jolly?
A. He has a really great sense of elf.
Q. Where does Santa keep all his money?
A. At the local snow bank.
Q. Where does Santa go when Christmas is over?
A. To a ho-ho-ho-tel
Q. How do you know when Santa’s around?
A. You can always sense his presents.
Q. How does Rudolph know when Christmas is coming?
A. He refers to his calen-deer
Q. What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees?
A. Horn-aments.
Q. What did the grumpy sheep say when his friends wished him a Merry Christmas?
A. Bah humbug!
Q. What kind of Christmas carols do you sing to fruit?
A. “Have Yourself a Berry Little Christmas”
Q. What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the regular alphabet?
A. The Christmas alphabet has Noel.
Need more Jokes for Kids?
If you love jokes for kids and lunch box notes, you should check out these Halloween Jokes for Kids, Thanksgiving Jokes for Kids and Easter Jokes for Kids.
Christmas Lunch Box Jokes
Q. What did Rudolph say about the big book of noses?
A. I already red that one.
Q. What do you sing at a snowman’s birthday?
A. “Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow.”
Q. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
A. Frostbite.
Q. Did you hear about the kid who was scared of Santa?
A. He was Claus-trophobic.
Q. What do you call a greedy elf?
A. Elfish.
Q. What is the best Christmas song to sing to your pet rock?
A. “Rocking Around the Christmas Tree”
Q. What do Santa’s little helpers like to eat on a cold day at the North Pole?
A. Elf-abet soup!
Q. What falls but never gets hurt?
A. Snow.
Q. What do snowmen like to do at the weekend?
A. Just chill out.
Q. What’s Frosty’s favorite dessert?
A. Ice Krispie Treats.
Q. What should you sing at a snowman’s birthday party?
A. Freeze a jolly good fellow.
Q. What do reindeer say before they tell you a joke?
A. This one’s gonna sleigh you!
Q. Which body part do you only see at Christmas?
A. The Mistle-toe.
Q. Why did Santa Claus get a parking ticket on Christmas Eve?
A. He left his sleigh in a snow parking zone.
Q. What did Santa say when a reindeer snuck up on him and stuck a tooth in his arm?
A. Oh, silent bite!
Q. What do you call an old snowman?
A. Water.
Q. What did the teacher say to Rudolph when he didn’t prepare for his test on the Civil War?
A. You’ll go down in history!
Q. What do gingerbread men use when they break their legs?
A. Candy canes.
Best Christmas Riddles for Kids
Q. What do you call a snow monster that has a six-pack?
A. The Abdominal Snowman
Q. What did one snowman say to the other?
A. Do you smell carrots?
Q. What’s the weather report ever Christmas Eve?
A. There’s a 100 percent chance of reindeer.
Q. What did the teacher say to Rudolph when he didn’t prepare for his test on the Civil War?
A. You’ll go down in history!
Q. Why does Snoop Dog love giving gifts?
A. He’s really good at wrapping!
Q. What’s the weather report every Christmas Eve?
A. There’s a 100 percent chance of reindeer.
Q. What’s Frosty’s favorite desert?
A. Ice Krispie treats.
Q. How does the snow globe feel this year?
A. A little shaken.
Q. What do you call a person who is afraid of Santa Claus?
A. Claustrophobic.
Q. What kind of bug hates Christmas?
A. A humbug.
Q. I come in many colors, so beautiful and bright, I turn so many houses into a beautiful sight. What am I?
A. Christmas Lights
Q. What music do Santa’s elves like best?
A. Wrap music!
Q. If the end of the year is on December 31st, then what is the end of Christmas?
A. S
Q. Why are Christmas trees so bad at knitting?
A. They drop all their needles.
Q. On Christmas Eve, when Santa leaves his workshop at the North Pole, what direction does he travel?
A. The only way to travel from the North Pole is south.
Q. Who delivers presents to baby sharks?
A. Santa Jaws.
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